DAD When are you coming here?

This book is an eye-opener to the contemporary society steeped in materialism and unhealthy competition. In search of a better future for themselves and their children, the father in the family is making serious compromises today that can have a catastrophic effect on the Church and Society as the study reveals, I hope this book reaches the hands of those who need it most - the absentee fathers themselves. It is a learned and sincere attempt to focus attention on the role of the father in the family. I wish the issues raised in this book would be the subject of further research study. Best wishes to the author in this very laudable effort to bring out such issues to the limelight. Dr. Siby Mathews IPS Formerly Director General of Police and Chief Commissioner, Kerala State Information Commission. Fathers are so caught up in themselves and their work, and at times in their own self-fulfillment, that they neglect their families. They leave the little ones and the young to themselves. The absent father figure in the life of little ones and young people causes gaps and wounds that may even be serious. And, in effect, delinquency among children and adolescents can be largely attributed to till lack, to die shortage of examples and authoritative guidance in their everyday life, a shortage of closeness, a shortage of love from the father. (Atnoris Laetitia, Pope Francis) Fr. Jenson La Salette is a catholic priest, belonging to the Congregation of Missionaries of Our Lady of La Salette. He completed his Masters degree in Psychology as well as M. Ed. from Andhra University. He also has a Masters degree in Systematic Theology with specialization in Missiology from Sacred Heart Theological College, Shillong. He has authored three books in Malayalam namely Daivathodoppam, Orkkathe Pokunnava and Kristhuvinte Paadangal. At present he is the Director of La Salette Marian Retreat Centre, Wayanad, Kerala, India. CONTENTS Foreword Preface CHAPTER 1 THE FATHER: HIS IRREPLACEABLE ROLE IN THE FAMILY The Man as Father in the Family The Father as Creator The Father as the Head The Father as Guardian The Father as Guide. The Father as Educator The Father as Disciplinarian The Father as Mentor The Father as Companion. The Father as Breadwinner The Father as Communicator The Man as Husband in the Family The Husband as Sexual-Partner The Husband as Protector The Husband as Companion and Partner The Husband as the Head The Husband as Communicator The Husband as Son-in-law The Man as Son in the Family Responsibility to the Parents Responsibility to the Siblings Responsibility to the Church Responsibility to the Society CHAPTER 2 THE ABSENTEE FATHER: A CASE IN POINT Happiness in the Families of Absentee Fathers. Marital Problems in the Families of Absentee Husbands Suicidal Tendency in the Families of Absentee Fathers Family Prayer in the Families of Absentee Fathers Loneliness and Tension in the Families of Absentee Fathers Alcoholism among the Husbands Use of Mobile Phone and Social Media by Children Visit of Wives to their Parents' Home The Desire of the Absentee Fathers to Setde Back Home Regularity of Phone Calls Made by the Absentee Fathers Responses from the Wives of the Absentee Husbands Responses from the Children of the Absentee Fathers Responses from the Parents of the Absentee Sons Responses from the Absentee Husbands Responses from the Resettled Husbands Responses from the Wives of the Non-Absentee Husbands Interview with Bishop Pauly Kannookadan. Interview with Bishop James Pazhayattil Opinions of the Pastors Interview with Consecrated Women Suggestions based on the Study to the Families of Absentee Fathers 1. Beware of the Devastating and Sad Realities of Culture 2. Online Video Conferences and Prayer Sessions 3. Taking the Family to the Work Place 4. Employment of the Wives of the Absentee Husbands 5. Regulation on the Children's Use of Mobile Phones and Modern Media 6. Importance of Settling Back at Home 7. Parental Care with the Help of Biblical Icons 8. Communication with the Family Members 9. Cautious Use of Wealth 10. Care of Children 11. Try to be with the Family during Important Occasions Suggestions based on the Study to the Church and Society 1. Conscientizing the Families about the Ground Reality 2. Awareness Programmes for the Couples Preparing for Marriage 3. The Need to Re-Focus on Family Visits. 4. Family Counselling 5. Initiating Diocesan Level Programmes for the Absentees and their Families 6. Special Family Renewal Retreats 7. Inter-Family Meet for the Family Members of the Absentees CHAPTER 3 FOUNDATIONS OF THE FAMILY The Family in the Old Testament The Trinitarian Origin of the Family The Family: An Expression of the Trinity Exemplary Icons of Family Life in the Old Testament Abraham: An Icon of Fidelity to God and to Spouse Joseph: An Icon of a Forgiving Sibling, Chaste Husband and Absentee but Responsible Son Tobit and Tobias: Icons of Father-Son Relationship Naomi and Ruth: Icons of Ideal In-laws The Old Testament Vision of the Stability of Family Life Instructions at Mount Sinai Wisdom Literature on Family Life The Family in the New Testament The Holy Family at Nazareth as a Model i Joseph: An Icon of Responsible Husband and Foster Father